Rik Mayall’s best quotes

9 June 2019, 08:00 | Updated: 9 June 2019, 08:01

Rik Mayall in 1987
Rik Mayall in 1987. Picture: John Var/Charlie Ley/Mirrorpix/Getty Images

The much-loved actor and comedian died on 9 June 2014. Let's remember his comic genuis with some of his most famous characters' best lines.

  1. “Ugly, stupid, poor people should not be allowed to have children.”

    Alan B'Stard from The New Statesman

    Rik Mayall in The New Statesman, 1988
    Rik Mayall in The New Statesman, 1988. Picture: Don Smith/Radio Times/Getty Images
  2. “Now can we just get our equipment out. I mean, I mean get our tackle out. I mean, get our gear... oh God, you can't say anything without some dreadful double entendre lurking around the corner!”

    Richie Rich, Bottom

    Adrian Edmondson and Rik Mayall in Bottom, 1991
    Adrian Edmondson and Rik Mayall in Bottom, 1991. Picture: Don Smith/Radio Times/Getty Images
  3. “Mind if I use your phone? If word gets out I’m missing, 500 girls will kill themselves.”

    Flashheart from Blackadder

    Rik Mayall in a scene from episode 'Private Plane' from the television sitcom Blackadder Goes Forth
    Rik Mayall in a scene from episode 'Private Plane' from the television sitcom Blackadder Goes Forth. Picture: Don Smith/Radio Times/Getty Images
  4. “So long suckers, next time you get bored with your lives give me a call and I'll come 'round and kill you.”

    Flashheart from Blackadder

    Rik Mayall in Blackadder Goes Forth, 1989
    Rik Mayall in Blackadder Goes Forth, 1989. Picture: Don Smith/Radio Times/Getty Images
  5. “No, no, no - not 'Bank Manager’. Tell it like it is. Put 'Fascist Bully-Boy’!”

    Rik from The Young Ones

    Alexei Sayle, Nigel Planner, Rik Mayal, Christopher Ryan and Adrian Edmondson in a scene from the television sitcom The Young Ones
    Alexei Sayle, Nigel Planner, Rik Mayal, Christopher Ryan and Adrian Edmondson in a scene from the television sitcom The Young Ones. Picture: Don Smith/Radio Times/Getty Images
  6. “Another heavy metal day. No sleep 'til Castle Donington. Better have some vibes!”

    Colin Grigson, More Bad News

    Bad News at the Reading Festival 1987
    Bad News at the Reading Festival 1987. Picture: Andy Willsher/Redferns/Getty Images
  7. “We hear an awful lot of leftie whingeing about NHS waiting lists. Well the answer’s simple. Shut down the health service. Result? No more waiting lists.”

    Alan B'Stard from The New Statesman

    Rik Mayall as Alan B'Stard in The New Statesman, 1987
    Rik Mayall as Alan B'Stard in The New Statesman, 1987. Picture: PA/PA Archive/PA Images
  8. “I tell you, there's some things a girl can't appreciate and Richie's Friday night fry-up is one of them.”

    Richie Rich, Bottom

    Rik Mayall and Adrian Edmondson in Bottom
    Rik Mayall and Adrian Edmondson in Bottom. Picture: Don Smith/Radio Times/Getty Images
  9. “Typical. Five minutes before the most important party of my life and the house is destroyed by a giant sandwich!”

    Rik from The Young Ones

    The Young Ones in 1982: Christopher Ryan, Rik Mayall, Nigel Planner and Adrian Edmondson
    The Young Ones in 1982: Christopher Ryan, Rik Mayall, Nigel Planner and Adrian Edmondson. Picture: Don Smith/Radio Times/Getty Images
  10. "The bathroom’s free! Unlike the country under the Thatcherite junta!”

    Rik from The Young Ones

    Rik Mayall performing as part of The Comic Strip in 1981
    Rik Mayall performing as part of The Comic Strip in 1981. Picture: David Corio/Redferns/Getty Images
  11. “God, I'm bored. I might as well be listening to Genesis.”

    Rik from The Young Ones

    The cast of the Young Ones seen here filming on location at  Codrington Road, Bristol
    The cast of the Young Ones seen here filming on location at Codrington Road, Bristol. Picture: Albert Foster/Mirrorpix/Getty Images
  12. “Let's get boozy and sit around the camp-fire singing dirty rugby songs.”

    Richie Rich, Bottom

    Rik Mayall wearing a devil costume in a scene from episode Accident of the BBC television sitcom Bottom
    Rik Mayall wearing a devil costume in a scene from episode Accident of the BBC television sitcom Bottom. Picture: Don Smith/Radio Times/Getty Images