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14 February 2023, 14:48 | Updated: 12 February 2024, 12:25
Sometimes the course of true love doesn't always go to plan. Especially if you use any of these perplexing and occasionally nauseating lyrics on your Valentine's card...
Love is in the air... with Valentine's Day upon us, we're expecting a lot of loving playlists to be compiled to show how much you care. For the sake of your relationship, DON'T include any of these sleazy, odd, laughable or just plain bizarre songs...
Red Hot Chili Peppers - Suck My Kiss. Classic Kiedis.
Red Hot Chili Peppers - Suck My Kiss [Official Music Video]
Razorlight - Somewhere Else. Meanwhile, over at the Johnny Borrell Charm School: how to make a great first impression.
Razorlight - Somewhere Else
The Jam - English Rose. Paul Weller almost sinks this lovely song with some terrible grammar.
The Jam - English Rose (1978)
Limp Bizkit - Nookie. You stay away from my "yeah", Fred Durst!
Limp Bizkit - Nookie (Official Video)
Bloodhound Gang - The Bad Touch. We could have put the whole lyric in there, to be honest.
Bloodhound Gang - The Bad Touch (Official Video)
Alt-J - Breezeblocks. Why you shouldn't go on a date with Alt-J.
alt-J (∆) Breezeblocks
The Smiths - Girlfriend in a Coma. Make your mind up, Moz. Kitchen sink drama goes a step too far.
The Smiths - Girlfriend In A Coma (Official Music Video)
The Darkness - I Believe In A Thing Called Love. Alright! We get the picture, Justin.
The Darkness - I Believe In A Thing Called Love (Official Music Video)
Billy Bragg - Sexuality. Bragg by name, brag by nature, eh Billy?
Billy Bragg - Sexuality video
AC/DC - Let Me Put My Love Into You. From brutal image to coy metaphor in one line - that's the grubby genius of Acca Dacca.
AC/DC - Let Me Put My Love Into You (Official Music Video)
The Rolling Stones - Star Star. The 1970s were definitely a different country - and this is one of the cleaner lines from "Sir" Mick in this song.
Star Star (Remastered)