Rik Mayall’s funniest ever lines
9 June 2025, 12:44 | Updated: 9 June 2025, 12:47
The actor and comedian died on 9th June 2014. Let's remember his comic genius with some of the greatest lines from his best-loved characters.
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“Ugly, stupid, poor people should not be allowed to have children.”
Alan B'Stard from The New Statesman
Rik Mayall in The New Statesman, 1991. Picture: Alamy -
“Now can we just get our equipment out. I mean, I mean get our tackle out. I mean, get our gear... oh God, you can't say anything without some dreadful double entendre lurking around the corner!”
Richie Rich, Bottom
Rik Mayall and Adrian Edmondson in Bottom, 1991. Picture: Alamy -
“So long suckers, next time you get bored with your lives give me a call and I'll come 'round and kill you.”
Flashheart from Blackadder
Rik Mayall as Flashheart from Blackadder II in 1986. Picture: Alamy -
“No, no, no - not 'Bank Manager’. Tell it like it is. Put 'Fascist Bully-Boy’!”
Rick from The Young Ones
Alexei Sayle, Nigel Planner, Rik Mayall, Christopher Ryan and Adrian Edmondson in a scene from the "Demolition" episode of The Young Ones. Picture: Alamy -
“Another heavy metal day. No sleep 'til Castle Donington. Better have some vibes!”
Colin Grigson, More Bad News
Bad News launch their debut album in London, 1987: Den Dennis (Nigel Planer), Vim Fuego (Ade Edmondson), Spider Webb (Peter Richardson) and Colin Grigson (Rik Mayall). Picture: Alamy -
“We hear an awful lot of leftie whingeing about NHS waiting lists. Well the answer’s simple. Shut down the health service. Result? No more waiting lists.”
Alan B'Stard from The New Statesman
Rik Mayall as Alan B'Stard in The New Statesman, 1987. Picture: Alamy -
“I tell you, there's some things a girl can't appreciate and Richie's Friday night fry-up is one of them.”
Richie Rich, Bottom
Adrian Edmondson and Rik Mayall in the second series of Bottom. Picture: BBC / Everett Collection -
“Typical. Five minutes before the most important party of my life and the house is destroyed by a giant sandwich!”
Rick from The Young Ones
The Young Ones in August 1982: Christopher Ryan, Rik Mayall, Nigel Planer and Adrian Edmondson. Picture: Mirrorpix/Alamy -
“Let's get boozy and sit around the camp-fire singing dirty rugby songs.”
Richie Rich, Bottom
Rik Mayall and Ade Edmondson shooting the opening titles of Bottom, 1991. Picture: BBC / Cinematic / Alamy Stock Photo -
"The bathroom’s free! Unlike the country under the Thatcherite junta!”
Rick from The Young Ones
The "Bomb" episode of The Young Ones from 1982: Christopher Ryan, Rik Mayall, Adrian Edmondson, Nigel Planer. Picture: BBC / Everett Collection / Alamy -
“God, I'm bored. I might as well be listening to Genesis.”
Rick from The Young Ones
The cast of the Young Ones seen here filming on location in Bristol, August 1982. Picture: Alamy
