Cor Blimey Guv’nor! Are These The Worst Ever Accents In The Movies?

Let’s have a look at some of the silliest accents that have crept across the silver screen. Shame on you, Hollywood actors!

Kevin Costner as Robin Hood

1. Nicholas Cage in Captain Corelli’s Mandolin

Old Nic’s dad had Italian blood, being part of the Coppola family of Francis Ford/Godfather fame, so you’d think he could do a convincing Italian accent? Think again.

2. Russell Crowe in Robin Hood (2010)

There’s something about the legend of Robin Hood that seems to fox non-British actors - namely, that the whole thing is set in Nottingham. New Zealand-born, Australia-raised Crowe sounds like a Jon Culshaw impersonation in this clip. 

3. Tom Cruise And Nicole Kidman in Far And Away (1992)

A husband-and-wife clanger here, with New Yorker Tom and Honolulu via Sydneysider Nicole having trouble finding their Irish roots somewhat.

4. Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins (1964)

The ultimate Bad Accent: Missouri-born actor and comedian plays a Cockney chimney-sweep from the turn of the 20th century with varying degrees of success. To be fair, it’s meant to be a fantasy, so if you have a problem with the realism of Dick’s accent, where do you stand on the flying nanny?

5. Johnny Depp and Heather Graham in From Hell (2001)

“Fank yoo. What abaht baby Alice, are you sure she’s awright?” “Yeah, she’s awright. We’ll get her ahhht.” No, not a scene from EastEnders last week, but a moment from the 2001 adaptation of Alan Moore’s Jack The Ripper graphic novel. This is what Victorian London was ACTUALLY like. Honest.

6. Keanu Reeves in Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992)

The totally bodacious Keanu starts as the unfortunate Jonathan Harker in Francis Ford Coppola (see above)’s version of the horror classic. As Reeves was fresh off his success with Bill And Ted’s Bogus Journey, some said he was miscast. We say: it’s a classic comedy performance.

7. Anne Hathaway in One Day (2011)

Underwhelming rom-com set in Britain where Brooklyn-born Hathaway plays a character from Yorkshire - well, that’s what it says here. Yorkshire? Lancashire? Generic Northern? YOU decide.

8. Michael Caine in On Deadly Ground (1994)

Just to prove this is not just a case of having a pop at hapless American actors, here’s Maurice Micklewhite himself playing a corporate bad buy in this brainless Steven Segal actioner. We THINK he’s meant to be American - we’re not quite sure. “It was my worst professional experience ever,” Caine later said.

9. Brad Pitt in The Devil’s Own (1997)

Bradley Pitts plays an IRA terrorist up against a US cop played by Harrison Ford. His accent is firmly set to “leprechaun”.

10. Kevin Costner in Robin Hood: Prince Of Thieves (1991)

Robinhood (all one word) again. Californian Costner struggles to make the Nottinghamshire folk hero three-dimensional. And fails. Altogether now: “Everything I dooooo…”

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