Are These The Worst Music Movies Ever Made?

18 November 2017, 16:00

CBGB Film

Films about our favourite bands can be amazing, life-changing spectacles. But sometimes they can also be total rubbish - take a look.

ACROSS THE UNIVERSE (2007)

As a film-maker, getting the go-ahead to make a musical featuring Beatles songs is surely a licence to print money. That is unless you then write a script that features a load of characters named in Beatles songs. That's right: this film includes a Lucy, a Jude, a Sadie, a Prudence and even a Jo Jo.

 

GREETINGS FROM TIM BUCKLEY (2013)

Jeff Buckley had one of the most haunting voices of the 1990s and his tragic death just added to the sense of mystery and awe surrounding him. The makers of this film chose not to pursue that angle though, instead casting one of the good-looking lads from Gossip Girl as Jeff and having him lip-sync to someone else's voice, while coming to terms with his father's musical legacy. Also, Kate Nash turns up.

 

CBGB (2013)

The legend of CBGBs has only grown since the iconic New York venue closed in 2006. The Ramones, Blondie and Talking Heads all played seminal shows there early in their careers and this film tries (and spectacularly fails) to capture the energy and magic of the NY scene in the late 1970s. There's no real depth to the characters here, it's mostly just a chance for actors to do impressions of Debbie Harry and Joey Ramone - and in a really weird cameo, Taylor Hawkins of the Foo Fighters turns up as Iggy Pop, as you can see below.

LAST DAYS (2005)

"It's better to burn out than fade away" read the note that Kurt Cobain left before he took his own life. This movie, a fictionalised version of the final few days of his life, is 96 long minutes of fading...fading...zzzzz.

THE DOORS (1991)

Does the myth of Jim Morrison, troubled genius always on the brink of madness, bug you? Then blame Oliver Stone, who turned The Doors frontman into an alcoholic headcase who was followed by Indian shaman, watching Jimbo from the side of stage with the groupies. Hey, it could have been worse - instead of Val Kilmer, movie bosses wanted Tom Cruise to play Morrison. Most baffling bit: an entirely pointless cameo from Billy Idol as one of Jim's drinking buddies.

MISTAKEN FOR STRANGERS (2013)

It's rare to see a documentary devoted to a band you like and leave the cinema liking them less. But for plenty of National fans that's what happened with Mistaken For Strangers, a documentary about frontman Matt Derringer's less successful brother Tom. The trouble is the band come across as a bit dull and Tom seems to be playing up just how dumb he is.

ROCK STAR (2001)

Mark Wahlberg goes from being a fan to becoming the lead singer of a fictional band of good actors with bad wigs in this flop. The band are called Steel Dragon, their songs sound dreadful and if you don't find the scene below hilarious, you must be Mark Wahlberg's mum.

THIS MUST BE THE PLACE (2011)

Some films asks the really big questions. This Must Be The Place asks what would happen if a rock star who looked like Robert Smith from The Cure (but wasn't actually him) tried to track down a Nazi. Starring Sean Penn, whose life story could make a really great film. We'll leave it there - surprisingly fun trailer though!

THE LINDA MCCARTNEY STORY (2000)

The Beatles really have inspired more than their fair share of disappointing movies. This one, charting the life of Paul's wife Linda, is one of those that's so bad it's hilarious. Just check out the moment when these two star-crossed lovers meet - and talk about salt and pepper.

ROCK OF AGES (2012)

Why didn't a movie about hair metal that featured Brian Cranston and a high-fiving baboon work? We're still not sure...but it didn't.

 

SGT. PEPPER'S LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND (1978)

After the success of Saturday Night Fever, The Bee Gees could do no wrong... or could they? For the follow-up, they decided to make this plotless parade of star cameos masquerading as yet another "tribute" to The Beatles. What had the Fabs done to deserve all this? The Brothers Gibb team up with heart-throb-of-the-moment Peter Frampton, comedian Frankie Howerd sings Mean Mr Mustard, comedian Steve Martin sings Maxwell's Silver Hammer, Alice Cooper appears for no reason, a wacked-out Aerosmith are the villains and there's a character called "Strawberry Fields". Enjoy.